Indian Standard Time

You know what Indian Standard Time is.

Or better known as IST.

And no, I’m not talking about the time zone in India.

I’m talking about the unspoken rule among Indians that if you’re invited somewhere at 6, you are expected to arrive at 6:30.

Maybe even 7.

Definitely not 6.

Because arriving at the actual time that you are invited?

That would be weird.

Maybe even rude.

Growing up, we never planned to arrive on time. In fact, there were times when we actually left our house at the time we were supposed to be there.

And we did not consider ourselves late.

We were right on time.

Indian time.

I decided to look into how this whole thing started. Apparently, there are a few possible explanations.

Important people traditionally arrived after everyone else had gathered. Because royalty, and you know, cool people – arrive late.

So in an effort for everyone to be considered important, everyone just comes late.

Lovely.

Then there’s unpredictable traffic makes exact arrival time difficult to estimate.

Fair enough.

But now we have a GPS…you know the thing that tells you exact time of arrival.

And because you were expected to arrive late, you didn’t want to catch the hostess still cooking, changing or running around the house yelling for everyone else to get ready.

Yep that one sounds familiar.

Whatever the reason, lateness wasn’t considered rude in our house.

It was expected. Even considerate.

We didn’t want tot be the first ones to arrive – and we certainly didn’t expect anyone to show top at ours at the time they were invited.

The time was merely a suggestion.

Then one day, we invited my future in-laws over.

They were invited at 2pm.

At precisely 2pm the doorbell rang.

Were we ready?

Uh…no.

My mother was in the middle of her prayers. Yelling, “Hai, hai, They’re here!”

My brother was still in the shower.

And my dad and I were scrambling to figure out which one of us was presentable enough to open the door.

This story still makes me laugh.

Because afterward, the shocking part wasn’t that we weren’t ready.

It was, “Can you believe they showed up on time?”

As they were the ones that did something completely unreasonable.

It turned out my in-laws were punctual people.

Especially my father-in-law.

Had to respect that.

And so I was finding myself being more punctual or at least making the effort.

Fast forward to me hosting parties at my own house.

In-laws: on time.

My family: Indian Standard Time.

That’s when I began to see the problem from the host’s side.

Do I serve appetizers when the first guests arrive? And the time I actually invited my guest?

Wait for the last ones?

Somewhere in between?

This was getting tricky.

Plus, I plan may parties to a tee. Apps., games, dinner, dessert – there’s a schedule.

And when I start late it meant everything got pushed back.

So it was time for some reconditioning.

You’re invited at 6?

Appetizers start at 6:15.

Maybe 6:30.

I mean, I had to give some grace. We’re changing very old habits.

And the rest of the evening goes as planned.

Yes, if you arrive at 7, you missed the apps. Sorry! See you at dinner.

Awkward? A little.

It took a while, but eventually people started arriving on time and even congratulating themselves.

‘See? We’re not the last ones!”

Yes, thank you for not showing up an hour late and blaming traffic, a phone call, the weather or whatever else happened between your house and mine.

But whatever. Mission accomplished.

On the flip side, American Standard Time.

One American friend once told me that if she was invited at 6, 5:55 is on time, 6 is late, and anything after that is just plain rude.

I wanted to tell her that in my head I was thinking:

Okay next time ‘m going to invite you 15 minutes later.

I mean 5:55?

Uh, never gonna happen. I’m still working on 6.

Being the first one still feels strange. Arriving early is out of the question. But I respect the host enough to know that 6 means 6.

Well…maybe 6:15.

Definitely not 7.

Ahh, To Be Desi or Not To Desi.